COME TO JESUSLAND STARTING AT $145,000

The end of the world is coming soon. The signs are all there: gay marriage, people starting to believe in the MYTH of global warming, and MIMES taking control of our government. Can anyone doubt that every decision Obama makes is initiated by the MIME CONSPIRACY?

There's no better time to leave to Home of Satan and come to Jesusland than NOW. We have the TRUTH and the RIGHTEOUSNESS. All our women are fertile as the plains of Jordan and as wholesome as delicious sorghum (God's favorite grain). There are no liberals, feminists, atheists, homosexuals, or scientists in Jesusland, so your faith won't become corrupted the way it does in New York or California.

3 bedroom homes with elevated rapture viewing decks starting at $145,000! As a plus you get Rick Perry as your governor, the most restrictive abortion laws in the nation, and, best of all, ABSOLUTEY NO GOVERNMENTAL REGULATIONS. You can carry your AK47 in public, kill endangered species, and make fun of pants-wearing, male-hating feminists (not that there are any of these left in Texas).

Join us soon...for end times are near and you want to be where Jesus can find you during the Rapture!!!See More

And Moses ascended up to the summit of Mt. Tabor and lo before him he saw a burning bush -- a bush that burned but did not get consumed (THE FIRST PROOF).

And a voice cried out unto him from the wilderness (THE SECOND PROOF) and said, "Who goest there?"

And Moses, in his great trepidation, said, "It is I, Moses, son of Levi, who formerly dwelled in the house of Pharoah, but thanks to the great miracle of the Lord (THE THIRD PROOF) has cometh unto this place."

And the voice was silent.

And Moses, trembling in fear, asked, "but who are you?"

And the voice responded, "I AM WHO AM." (THE FOURTH AND FINAL PROOF)

..............

EXEGESIS

There can be no "I am Who Am" unless there is "I AM" first. The four proofs hing on the final proof -- the essence of being inherent in he who is and he who always has been and he who always will be. The being whose being is eternal being.

Therefore, those who deny God's existence are fools and madmen. For if he did not exist...

1) who burnt the bush? and
2) who cried out from the wilderness? and
3) who made the miracles that freed the Israelites? and
4) who is the "is" who is in the name of the Lord?

----
From: The Collected Sermons of Pastor Mordecai Rafter (Sweetwater, TX: Living Word Press, 2007)

Reply

Coming Soon to a Christain Community Near You!!!

Only 747 more days until the rapture (Pastor Rafter says that it is more like 456 days but he doesn't have a minor in Christian anthropology like I do, so he can be forgiven for his miscalculation). I can hardly wait, because I have been assured that I will be among the elect. East coast liberals, mimes, men who don the garb of females for pleasure or profit, and the entire population of San Franciso will unfortunately experience the wrath of Jehovah on those LAST DAYS. The BOOK OF BOOKS, after all, assures us that the LORD is "just in his righteous anger at the wicked." And who deserves his insatiable anger more than those involved in the great LIBERAL-ATHEIST-COMMUNIST-MIME CONSPIRACY?!??!

WISDOM SHARED WITH THE NEXT GENERATION

I took my nephew Mordecai recently on a stroll outside of Liberty City where we live to see the GOD'S GREATEST CREATION -- wholesome fields of nutritious KANSAS SORGHUM. I cry every time I see these ...waving fields of sorghum, and not just because I'm President of the U.S. Sorghum Association.

Sorghum reminds me of exactly why we have been put on this planet - to sow our good Christian seed in the fertile womb of devout DAUGHTERS OF THE WORD and this populate the world with GOD'S CHOSEN PEOPLE.

While we were walking along Country Road 97, I shared a few bits of wisdom that I had gained from my 37 years on this planet with my nephew Mordecai. You may profit from hearing these ETERNAL TRUTHS yourself:

1) Stay away from mimes. They are spawns of the devil who have been put on earth to tempt young men with their lascivious machinations.

2) Don't believe East Coast liberals when they tell you that the world is coming to and end because of Global Warming. The world is coming to an end, but it's because God wants to make the wicked (Democrats, environmentalist, socialists, atheists, and anyone living on either satanic coast) suffer his wrath.

3) Beware woman. She is a temptress who will lead you down the path of unrighteousness just as she did poor Adam. Only a PURE DAUGHTER OF THE WORD can provide you with the SWEET CONSOLATIONS of Christian love without causing your eternal soul to be damned!

4) Beware the liberal, atheist, environmentalist, homosexual, mime agenda. These SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF THE DEVIL are everywhere, and just waiting to corrupt your God-fearing Christian soul.

More to come later....

 

 

GOVERNMENT - FREEDOM + SOCIALISM = TYRANNY

When I said in 2012 that the only presidential candidate who could lead us from the path of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS that our nation is on was the very lovely, very brilliant, and very virtuous Michelle Ba...chmann, EAST COAST LIBERAL ELITISTS laughed at me. And now we see what the consequences are of allowing our proud nation to fall into the hand of ISLAMIC-LOVING, MARXISTS like Obama and his EFFETE, "INTELLECTUAL" crowd.

LIBERTY is destroyed.
GOD'S LAW is mocked in the wanton cities of the EAST and WEST COASTS.
HOMOSEXUALS and MIMES are entrenched in the highest position of government.
and GOD'S TRUE SERVANTS, like myself, are persecuted daily by the FEMINIST, ENVIRONMENTALISTS fanatics who run our country.

Today the government goes after the TEA PARTY. But I guarantee you that tomorrow they will attack our most sacred American institution -- the U.S. Sorghum industry, of which I am darn proud to be an important part of. As President of the U.S. Sorghum Association (headquarters: beautiful and wholesome Liberty City, Kansas) I know that there are those in positions of power who would destroy our sorghum, if they could. After all, sorghum represents everything these MALIGNANT, MALIGNERS, and MACHINATORS detest about our country.

Sorghum is WHOLESOME, PURE, TRUE, and GOOD FOR YOU. Just like the sublime word of our LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. And just like Christ's word is it TASTY TOO!

But fear not: This Proud SON OF WORD will never let the federal government try to destroy our precious sorghum. As the secretary for the Jesus-Land Real Estate Project, I have personally invested over $450 of my own resources to buy land in Denton County, Texas (voted 13th most Christian county in the U.S.!) where GOD'S CHOSEN can live together in perpetual, not genital, spiritual bliss and sorghum can grow free and wild, like God's manna in the desert.

WILL ANYONE JOIN ME IN ESTABLISING JESUSLAND before the forces of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS AND MIME-LOVING EVIL completely destroy our nation?

Lance B. Dowd
Liberty City

 

 

Bewareth of the Mime

Original art work for my anti-mime campaign, now in its 7th glorious year. 

More on Jesusland

I'm involved in an exciting new project with a group of TRUE BELIEVERS from the GREAT AMERICAN HEARTLAND and the GLORIOUS BIBLE BELT. It has become clear that under the rule of that SOCIALIST OBAMA we are turning into a nation that is fors...aking the things that really matter -- GOD, TRUTH, LIBERTY, GUNS, and the BIBLE.

The only solution is for GOD-FEARING SONS OF THE WORD to carve out our own nation from those areas of the country that haven't been completely corrupted by SOCIALISM, FEMINISM, ENVIRONMENTALISM, and EFFETE EAST COAST LIBERALISM. We're planning on calling this new nation of our JESUSLAND and our only law will be the LAW OF GOD as revealed through HIS WORD!!!

Liberals, homosexuals, "intellectuals," "scientists", mimes, and those who do not believe that's God's rapture is immanent, are not welcome. When the GREAT RAPTURE comes it will be much easier for God to find the unbelievers since they will all be forced to endure the APOCAPLYPSE from their hellish dens of vice and sin on the East and West Coasts!

A Really Good Question!

Why do so many people around the world hate REAL AMERICANS??!!?#? If only these deluded, godless souls understood what AMERICA really represents...

TRUTH
WHOLESOME GOODNESS
LOVE OF THE LORD
J - U - S - T - I - C - E
Hatred of the MIME

Eurosnobs love the Mime, but that is because they despise our American way of life, our big American cars, and our big boned American women. They hate sorghum an...d they love SOCIALISM.

No Europeans will ever be permitted to participate in the Jesusland Development Project as long as I am in charge!!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!?!!!?

The Two Roads!!!

Our wonderful LORD wants you to choose HIS WAY instead of the way of SATAN.

HIS WAY is the GREAT ETERNAL HIGHWAY That leads to HEAVAN. His way is the way of HALLELUJAH and AMEN, of complete and total groveling SUBMISSION to our LORD and H...IS LAW!!!

The WAY OF SATAN is the dark road of carnal love, wild parties with scantily clad satyrs gyrating to the demonic beat of secular music (with not so much as a HALLELUJAH or an AMEN in any of the lyrics!), and rivers full of mind-numbing alcohol, marijuana, and French pastries! And laughter--yes much laughter.....But, as Pastor Raftor, has said "those who laugh now will shed tears of grief when those last days come and the beasts of the nether regions pluck out their offending organs!!!"

Choose wisely...The Lord is watching your every move, and his WRATH IS HORRIBLE TO WITNESS! He loves you, but he will "casteth ye unto the flames for all eternity" if you choose unwisely.

ON THE PERPETUAL WHINING OF THE SO-CALLED OPPRESSED CLASSES WHO REALLY ARE THE PRIVILEGED ELITES OF THIS DEGENERATE GODLESS NATION OF OURS--AT LEAST COMPARED TO THOSE WHO ARE SUFFERING FROM REAL OPPRESSION (I.E., WHITE HETEROSEXUAL CHRISTIAN, MALES LIKE MYSELF)...

Liberals are constantly up in arms about discrimination—discrimination towards minorities, the poor, women, gays…you name it. But I personally think that it’s just a myth that these groups are discriminated against. Why, gays, for example, never had it better in this country than they do right now. They’ve taken over most of our government and are rapidly becoming the majority in places like New York, Vermont, and California. Soon we’ll all be forced to drink lattes and spend all of our time watching the Home Shopping Network.

And minorities sure can’t complain about anything, because one of their own has seized the White House. In fact, it’s predicted that by 2050 the original white population of this amazing country of ours will wither away to practically nothing. I’ve even heard statistics by those in the know about this issue that by 2087 there will only be about 23 people left in the country with pure Anglo-Saxon genes left uncontaminated by interracial fraternization, and all 23 will be living in Hopewell Junction, Montana (I’m saving up to buy some property there myself, just in case these predictions prove to be accurate). The rest of the country will be some big melting pot filled with people whose gene pools have been so diluted by sordid misogynistic fraternization that they won’t even know what race they belong to!

So I don’t really believe much in all these tales about discrimination that liberals keep dredging up. It’s just an excuse to make good, honest, hardworking, heterosexual males like me feel guilty for the extraordinary blessings that I’ve received from the Almighty as a reward for our utter and complete fidelity to HIS WORD and HIS COVENANT. Believe me, God knows darn well who deserves to reap the material blessings of this world and the spiritual blessings of HIS HEAVENLY KINGDOM and who doesn’t. So if you’re a godless, effeminate liberal living in some degenerate big city like New York or San Francisco and you’re having a hard time in life, my advice to you is to stop moaning and complaining about how the world’s discriminating against you, and get some TRUE FAITH quickly so that you can become one of God’s chosen like me. Then you’ll have all the blessings that you want in life and money will come pouring into your wallet like manna from heaven. And if you don’t believe this then read the Bible, which is HIS WORD, and your mind will become open to THE TRUTH.

THE TRUE SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT PROVES GLOBAL WARMING IS A DANGEROUS LIBERAL MYTH!!!!

Liberals keep whining that we are destroying our planet because of global warming, BUT if these devious deceivers and malignant misconstruers of GOD'S ...LAW would just read his WORD they would see how false their pseudo-scientific theories are.

Here's the hardcore SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE as related to me by Pastor Raftor, who is most certainly one of the great scientific minds of the 21st century:

1) At creation Adam and Eve were living in a TROPICAL PARADISE that comprised the entire world. In fact, you could get bananas off every third tree in the Garden of Eden, based upon evidence from the latest biblical research out of Bob Jones University. So the world was much hotter at creation than it is today. IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

2) Adam and Eve were naked before the fall. You try going around naked today in Wintertime! Can't be done. IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

3) Rush Limbaugh has said that there are more trees in the world today than there were 100 years ago. Trees REDUCE carbon emissions that cause global warming. Therefore we must have a much cooler planet today than we did when Theodore Roosevelt was president. IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

4) There are more homosexuals in the world today than there ever have been in the entire history of the human race. But everyone knows that homosexuality only arises in cold climates. There are no homosexuals south of the Mason Dixon line. And there were no homosexuals in the Garden of Eden. IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

5) God promised Noah that he wouldn't destroy the world again after the flood. So it is vain and foolish to think that we could do anything to hurt this incredible planet of HIS. Or are you call THE ALMIGHTY a liar? Then you are probably damned already and you have much bigger problems to worry about than so-called Global Warming! IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

Yes the world will come to an end as prophesized in 2 years, 3 months, 6 days, and 7 hours. But it won't be because of something ridiculous like Global Warming. At that time, God will send down the Satanic forces of DIVINE RETRIBUTION to obliterate our planet and those evil liberals, environmentalists, feminists, homosexuals, and mimes who will remain behind after the rapture.

Of course, SONS OF THE WORD like YOURS TRULY will be viewing end times from Paradise while we sip sorghum slurpees with Abraham and Moses!See More

Real Christian Art for a Real Christian Home

HERE IS SOME FINE ART THAT I HAVE ACQUIRED TO HANG ON MY MOTHER'S (MRS. IRMA R DOWD OF BEAUTIFUL LIBERTY CITY, KANSAS) BEDROOM WALL.

My mother, true DAUGHTER OF THE WORD, knows, as sure as sorghum grows a-plenty in the God-fear state of Kansas, that JESUS LOVES THE USA like a sweet unsullied virgin!!! And if he were here today (and he will be VERY SOON!!!), he would certainly resist the FEMO-ECO-ISLAMO-SOCIALIST agenda of the Obama administration, and join along with his TRUE BRETHREN in the NRA, the REPUBLICAN PARTY, and the JESUSLAND REAL ESTATE PROJECT in working to create a TRUE CHRISTIAN STATE where his word (and not the teaching of the KORAN) are the law of the land.

My mother knows all this, but it doesn't hut to be reminded of HIS TRUTH ever now and then. And so when she goes to sleep at night she can meditate on these beautiful works of art (purchased for $7.95 each at Walt Kaslow's Christian Goods store in Mossback, Kansas)See More

GOD BLESS THE TRUE (!?) AMERICA!

Our founding fathers--true SONS OF THE WORD that they were--would be shocked and horrified at the country that we've become.  How could they have imaged that mimes, transvestites, and Satanists would be running the country that they created????

There is hope for the future, but you're not going to find it in New York or California (the playgrounds of Satan and his minions).  You can only find REAL American in places like Kansas, where men love women with ample child-bearing hips and women can think of nothing they'd rather do than procreate with a good Christian man who knows how to please them by making sweet heterosexual Christian love to them wile at the same time singing the praises of our Lord.

So on this day of our independence, let us not forget the duty that all Christians have to populate the planet with a new generation of SONS and DAUGHTERS OF THE WORD.  But do it quickly, because Pastor Rafter now predicts that the rapture will start in two years, one month, three days, and seven hours!

What I'm Looking For in a Bride

I haven't had any luck at all in the way of Christian love. The last woman I went out with was a sorghum hater, so there was no way in Jehovah's universe that would work out. So now I'm putting the word o...ut to all of my facebook associates. If you have a niece, daughter, granddaughter or younger sister who is looking to wait out the rapture with a TRUE SON OF THE WORD, send her my way!

I do have a few things that are absolutely essential in the future Mrs. Lance B. Dowd:

1) She has to be a TRUE DAUGHTER OF THE WORD. That means a REAL CHRISTIAN: No pseudo Christians please--i.e., Catholics, Lutherans, liberal Methodists, or any other denomination that doesn't get the fact that (1) the Bible is the LITERAL WORD OF GOD, (2) the UN-RIGHTOUS can never be saved, and (3) that THE GREAT TRIBULATION IS COMING, according to Pastor Rafter, in 2 years, 47 days, 6 hours, and 52 minutes.

2) She has to be WILLING TO DO BATTLE AGAINST DEMONIC FORCES in this sin-soaked world of ours (i.e., liberals, communists, homosexuals, environmentalists, feminists, those men who don the garb of women for pleasure or profit, socialists, Europeans, Obama-lovers, and Muslims...basically, anyone who is not a TRUE CHRISTIAN living in the heartland or bible belt).

3) She has to be clean--not just of heart, but body too. I've met many women who shower regularly, but don't wash between their toes the way that they should. The toes are a breeding ground for fungus and disease, and any future Mrs. Dowd will have to be careful about proper toe hygiene. In heaven there will be no toes or "other sinful appendages" but here on earth we must tend to "those orifices and appendages that lead us into sin and damnation." (Sermon of Pastor Raftor, March 3, 2005).

4) She has to exude NATURAL CHRISTIAN MODESTY. Jesus clearly has forbidden women to reveal any part of themselves that can cause any temptations of the flesh on the part of good Christian men (Luke 14:22-32). This means that the following body parts must always be covered both within and outside of the home: neck, shoulders, upper arms, breasts, back, hips, all recognized procreatory regions!!!, legs, feet, and, if extremely seductive, elbows and wrists. Any so-called woman who thinks that she can expose her flesh and still be a bride of this SON OF THE WORD is suffering from delusion. Remember, "O Children of Abraham" what happened to that other temptress, the seductive EVE--"mother of our inbred infirmity," because of her lascivious inclinations!

5) She has to recognized the wholesome, nutritious, nutty goodness of Sorghum--God's favorite grain. Any woman who thinks that I would ever eat oats or any other inferior grain product can never be the bride of this SON OF SORGHUM.

and most important of all...

6) She has to understand the REALITY OF THE MIME THREAT. Most women think mimes are cute and funny. But a TRUE DAUGHTER OF THE WORD knows that all mimes are spawns of the ANTI-CHRIST and must be ERADICATED FROM THE PLANET BEFORE JESUS RETURNS IN HIS GLORY!!!!!

I do have my ideal woman--one who meets all of my requirements to the letter--but unfortunately she's already taken. You can certainly use Michelle as a guide when searching for a proper bride for me. With a TRUE DAUGHTER OF THE WORD like her as a Jesus-loving, God-fearing, mime-hating role model, you know EXACTLY what I am looking for!

A Mystico-Philosophical Reflection

Summer is coming to beautiful Liberty City, Kansas, and I thought I would post a reflection to get us in the right sprit of this special season:

"Those who walketh in the path of UN-righteous-NESS will trembleth in those last days when the... UN-BELIEVER will experience the FULL FURY of our LORD'S WRATH, for HE (our Lord, not the un-believer) is JUST as well as FORGIVING, but he shall not forgiveth those who spurn his ETERNAL WORD by consorting with harlots, and santanists, and men who don the garb of women for pleasure or profit, and--worst of all according to the dictates of HOLY SCRIPTURE--MIMES, MIMES, MIMES, whose filth is all pervasive and whose scorn of the LORD and his WAYS is evident through their lascivious acts and immoral attire (and who are justly condemned according to the LAW OF SACRED SCRIPTURE, the teachings of the Apostles and the prophets of the TRUE FAITH--not the Catholic Church or other APOSTATE, pseudo-Christian sects) with the worst punishment imaginable, which is nothing other than to have to remain in this web of filth, sin, and ignominy we calleth the WORLD while the TRUE MEN OF GOD get to sing "HOSANNAH, HOSANNAH, HOSANNAH to HIM (The Father, not the un-believer) for ALL ETERNITY, spared from all lures and temptations of the flesh, which we know to be INTOXICATING WINE, LACIVIOUS WOMEN, and INSIDIOUS SONG (Gen. 22:43), while the MIME--their true LORD AND SAVIOR, who really is OBAMA--strutteth around making obscene gestures in total impious silence ."

This says it all. 

Join the path of the righteous NOW or swim in the filthy, fetid, feverish cesspool that is the WAY OF THE WORLD!!!

Brought to you by the Jesusland Real Estate Project
Because the end is coming sooner than you think!!!!

The Next Mrs. Lance B. Dowd???

Now that my mother Mrs. Irma Dowd (1936 Miss Christian Kentucky) is getting on in years, it's more important than ever for me to find a sweet, wholesome woman with good child-bearing hips to continue the long line of Dowds who have labored, oft-times in vain, to build God's kingdom in this sin-drenched world. My long deceased father, Lance Dowd Sr., always used to tell me, "Woman is the lure of S...atan, Lance. But if you have to sin, better to do it with a good Christian woman than with a beast of the field (a reference perhaps to the fate that befell my cousin Norbert).

There are beasts of the fields aplenty here in GOD'S COUNTRY (Liberty City, Kansas), but all the women have been corrupted by the great plague of SOCIALISM that is taking over this land since Obama stole the last two presidental elections. Anyone know where a SON OF THE WORD can find a good Christian bride to enjoy the Second Coming with?