COME TO JESUSLAND STARTING AT $145,000

The end of the world is coming soon. The signs are all there: gay marriage, people starting to believe in the MYTH of global warming, and MIMES taking control of our government. Can anyone doubt that every decision Obama makes is initiated by the MIME CONSPIRACY?

There's no better time to leave to Home of Satan and come to Jesusland than NOW. We have the TRUTH and the RIGHTEOUSNESS. All our women are fertile as the plains of Jordan and as wholesome as delicious sorghum (God's favorite grain). There are no liberals, feminists, atheists, homosexuals, or scientists in Jesusland, so your faith won't become corrupted the way it does in New York or California.

3 bedroom homes with elevated rapture viewing decks starting at $145,000! As a plus you get Rick Perry as your governor, the most restrictive abortion laws in the nation, and, best of all, ABSOLUTEY NO GOVERNMENTAL REGULATIONS. You can carry your AK47 in public, kill endangered species, and make fun of pants-wearing, male-hating feminists (not that there are any of these left in Texas).

Join us soon...for end times are near and you want to be where Jesus can find you during the Rapture!!!See More

And Moses ascended up to the summit of Mt. Tabor and lo before him he saw a burning bush -- a bush that burned but did not get consumed (THE FIRST PROOF).

And a voice cried out unto him from the wilderness (THE SECOND PROOF) and said, "Who goest there?"

And Moses, in his great trepidation, said, "It is I, Moses, son of Levi, who formerly dwelled in the house of Pharoah, but thanks to the great miracle of the Lord (THE THIRD PROOF) has cometh unto this place."

And the voice was silent.

And Moses, trembling in fear, asked, "but who are you?"

And the voice responded, "I AM WHO AM." (THE FOURTH AND FINAL PROOF)

..............

EXEGESIS

There can be no "I am Who Am" unless there is "I AM" first. The four proofs hing on the final proof -- the essence of being inherent in he who is and he who always has been and he who always will be. The being whose being is eternal being.

Therefore, those who deny God's existence are fools and madmen. For if he did not exist...

1) who burnt the bush? and
2) who cried out from the wilderness? and
3) who made the miracles that freed the Israelites? and
4) who is the "is" who is in the name of the Lord?

----
From: The Collected Sermons of Pastor Mordecai Rafter (Sweetwater, TX: Living Word Press, 2007)

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Coming Soon to a Christain Community Near You!!!

Only 747 more days until the rapture (Pastor Rafter says that it is more like 456 days but he doesn't have a minor in Christian anthropology like I do, so he can be forgiven for his miscalculation). I can hardly wait, because I have been assured that I will be among the elect. East coast liberals, mimes, men who don the garb of females for pleasure or profit, and the entire population of San Franciso will unfortunately experience the wrath of Jehovah on those LAST DAYS. The BOOK OF BOOKS, after all, assures us that the LORD is "just in his righteous anger at the wicked." And who deserves his insatiable anger more than those involved in the great LIBERAL-ATHEIST-COMMUNIST-MIME CONSPIRACY?!??!

WISDOM SHARED WITH THE NEXT GENERATION

I took my nephew Mordecai recently on a stroll outside of Liberty City where we live to see the GOD'S GREATEST CREATION -- wholesome fields of nutritious KANSAS SORGHUM. I cry every time I see these ...waving fields of sorghum, and not just because I'm President of the U.S. Sorghum Association.

Sorghum reminds me of exactly why we have been put on this planet - to sow our good Christian seed in the fertile womb of devout DAUGHTERS OF THE WORD and this populate the world with GOD'S CHOSEN PEOPLE.

While we were walking along Country Road 97, I shared a few bits of wisdom that I had gained from my 37 years on this planet with my nephew Mordecai. You may profit from hearing these ETERNAL TRUTHS yourself:

1) Stay away from mimes. They are spawns of the devil who have been put on earth to tempt young men with their lascivious machinations.

2) Don't believe East Coast liberals when they tell you that the world is coming to and end because of Global Warming. The world is coming to an end, but it's because God wants to make the wicked (Democrats, environmentalist, socialists, atheists, and anyone living on either satanic coast) suffer his wrath.

3) Beware woman. She is a temptress who will lead you down the path of unrighteousness just as she did poor Adam. Only a PURE DAUGHTER OF THE WORD can provide you with the SWEET CONSOLATIONS of Christian love without causing your eternal soul to be damned!

4) Beware the liberal, atheist, environmentalist, homosexual, mime agenda. These SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF THE DEVIL are everywhere, and just waiting to corrupt your God-fearing Christian soul.

More to come later....

 

 

GOVERNMENT - FREEDOM + SOCIALISM = TYRANNY

When I said in 2012 that the only presidential candidate who could lead us from the path of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS that our nation is on was the very lovely, very brilliant, and very virtuous Michelle Ba...chmann, EAST COAST LIBERAL ELITISTS laughed at me. And now we see what the consequences are of allowing our proud nation to fall into the hand of ISLAMIC-LOVING, MARXISTS like Obama and his EFFETE, "INTELLECTUAL" crowd.

LIBERTY is destroyed.
GOD'S LAW is mocked in the wanton cities of the EAST and WEST COASTS.
HOMOSEXUALS and MIMES are entrenched in the highest position of government.
and GOD'S TRUE SERVANTS, like myself, are persecuted daily by the FEMINIST, ENVIRONMENTALISTS fanatics who run our country.

Today the government goes after the TEA PARTY. But I guarantee you that tomorrow they will attack our most sacred American institution -- the U.S. Sorghum industry, of which I am darn proud to be an important part of. As President of the U.S. Sorghum Association (headquarters: beautiful and wholesome Liberty City, Kansas) I know that there are those in positions of power who would destroy our sorghum, if they could. After all, sorghum represents everything these MALIGNANT, MALIGNERS, and MACHINATORS detest about our country.

Sorghum is WHOLESOME, PURE, TRUE, and GOOD FOR YOU. Just like the sublime word of our LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. And just like Christ's word is it TASTY TOO!

But fear not: This Proud SON OF WORD will never let the federal government try to destroy our precious sorghum. As the secretary for the Jesus-Land Real Estate Project, I have personally invested over $450 of my own resources to buy land in Denton County, Texas (voted 13th most Christian county in the U.S.!) where GOD'S CHOSEN can live together in perpetual, not genital, spiritual bliss and sorghum can grow free and wild, like God's manna in the desert.

WILL ANYONE JOIN ME IN ESTABLISING JESUSLAND before the forces of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS AND MIME-LOVING EVIL completely destroy our nation?

Lance B. Dowd
Liberty City

 

 

Bewareth of the Mime

Original art work for my anti-mime campaign, now in its 7th glorious year. 

More on Jesusland

I'm involved in an exciting new project with a group of TRUE BELIEVERS from the GREAT AMERICAN HEARTLAND and the GLORIOUS BIBLE BELT. It has become clear that under the rule of that SOCIALIST OBAMA we are turning into a nation that is fors...aking the things that really matter -- GOD, TRUTH, LIBERTY, GUNS, and the BIBLE.

The only solution is for GOD-FEARING SONS OF THE WORD to carve out our own nation from those areas of the country that haven't been completely corrupted by SOCIALISM, FEMINISM, ENVIRONMENTALISM, and EFFETE EAST COAST LIBERALISM. We're planning on calling this new nation of our JESUSLAND and our only law will be the LAW OF GOD as revealed through HIS WORD!!!

Liberals, homosexuals, "intellectuals," "scientists", mimes, and those who do not believe that's God's rapture is immanent, are not welcome. When the GREAT RAPTURE comes it will be much easier for God to find the unbelievers since they will all be forced to endure the APOCAPLYPSE from their hellish dens of vice and sin on the East and West Coasts!