GOVERNMENT - FREEDOM + SOCIALISM = TYRANNY

When I said in 2012 that the only presidential candidate who could lead us from the path of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS that our nation is on was the very lovely, very brilliant, and very virtuous Michelle Ba...chmann, EAST COAST LIBERAL ELITISTS laughed at me. And now we see what the consequences are of allowing our proud nation to fall into the hand of ISLAMIC-LOVING, MARXISTS like Obama and his EFFETE, "INTELLECTUAL" crowd.

LIBERTY is destroyed.
GOD'S LAW is mocked in the wanton cities of the EAST and WEST COASTS.
HOMOSEXUALS and MIMES are entrenched in the highest position of government.
and GOD'S TRUE SERVANTS, like myself, are persecuted daily by the FEMINIST, ENVIRONMENTALISTS fanatics who run our country.

Today the government goes after the TEA PARTY. But I guarantee you that tomorrow they will attack our most sacred American institution -- the U.S. Sorghum industry, of which I am darn proud to be an important part of. As President of the U.S. Sorghum Association (headquarters: beautiful and wholesome Liberty City, Kansas) I know that there are those in positions of power who would destroy our sorghum, if they could. After all, sorghum represents everything these MALIGNANT, MALIGNERS, and MACHINATORS detest about our country.

Sorghum is WHOLESOME, PURE, TRUE, and GOOD FOR YOU. Just like the sublime word of our LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. And just like Christ's word is it TASTY TOO!

But fear not: This Proud SON OF WORD will never let the federal government try to destroy our precious sorghum. As the secretary for the Jesus-Land Real Estate Project, I have personally invested over $450 of my own resources to buy land in Denton County, Texas (voted 13th most Christian county in the U.S.!) where GOD'S CHOSEN can live together in perpetual, not genital, spiritual bliss and sorghum can grow free and wild, like God's manna in the desert.

WILL ANYONE JOIN ME IN ESTABLISING JESUSLAND before the forces of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS AND MIME-LOVING EVIL completely destroy our nation?

Lance B. Dowd
Liberty City

 

 

A Mystico-Philosophical Reflection

Summer is coming to beautiful Liberty City, Kansas, and I thought I would post a reflection to get us in the right sprit of this special season:

"Those who walketh in the path of UN-righteous-NESS will trembleth in those last days when the... UN-BELIEVER will experience the FULL FURY of our LORD'S WRATH, for HE (our Lord, not the un-believer) is JUST as well as FORGIVING, but he shall not forgiveth those who spurn his ETERNAL WORD by consorting with harlots, and santanists, and men who don the garb of women for pleasure or profit, and--worst of all according to the dictates of HOLY SCRIPTURE--MIMES, MIMES, MIMES, whose filth is all pervasive and whose scorn of the LORD and his WAYS is evident through their lascivious acts and immoral attire (and who are justly condemned according to the LAW OF SACRED SCRIPTURE, the teachings of the Apostles and the prophets of the TRUE FAITH--not the Catholic Church or other APOSTATE, pseudo-Christian sects) with the worst punishment imaginable, which is nothing other than to have to remain in this web of filth, sin, and ignominy we calleth the WORLD while the TRUE MEN OF GOD get to sing "HOSANNAH, HOSANNAH, HOSANNAH to HIM (The Father, not the un-believer) for ALL ETERNITY, spared from all lures and temptations of the flesh, which we know to be INTOXICATING WINE, LACIVIOUS WOMEN, and INSIDIOUS SONG (Gen. 22:43), while the MIME--their true LORD AND SAVIOR, who really is OBAMA--strutteth around making obscene gestures in total impious silence ."

The Ultimate Discrimination

Liberals are constantly up in arms about discrimination—discrimination towards minorities, the poor, women, gays…you name it.  But I personally think that it’s just a myth that these groups are discriminated against.   Why, gays, for example, never had it better in this country than they do right now.  They’ve taken over most of our government and are rapidly becoming the majority in places like New York, Vermont, and California.   Soon we’ll all be forced to drink lattes and spend all of our time watching the Home Shopping Network.

And minorities sure can’t complain about anything, because one of their own has seized the White House.  In fact, it’s predicted that by 2050 the original white population of this amazing country of ours will wither away to practically nothing.  I’ve even heard statistics by those in the know about this issue that by 2087 there will only be about 23 people left in the country with pure Anglo-Saxon genes left uncontaminated by interracial fraternization, and all 23 will be living in Hopewell Junction, Montana (I’m saving up to buy some property there myself, just in case these predictions prove to be accurate).  The rest of the country will be some big melting pot filled with people whose gene pools have been so diluted by sordid misogynistic fraternization that they won’t even know what race they belong to! 

So I don’t really believe much in all these tales about discrimination that liberals keep dredging up.  It’s just an excuse to make good, honest, hardworking, heterosexual males like me feel guilty for the extraordinary blessings that I’ve received from the Almighty as a reward for our utter and complete fidelity to HIS WORD and HIS COVENANT.  Believe me, God knows darn well who deserves to reap the material blessings of this world and the spiritual blessings of HIS HEAVENLY KINGDOM and who doesn’t.  So if you’re a godless, effeminate liberal living in some degenerate big city like New York or San Francisco and you’re having a hard time in life, my advice to you is to stop moaning and complaining about how the world’s discriminating against you, and get some TRUE FAITH quickly so that you can become one of God’s chosen like me.  Then you’ll have all the blessings that you want in life and money will come pouring into your wallet like manna from heaven.  And if you don’t believe this then read the Bible, which is HIS WORD, and your mind will become open to THE TRUTH.

But enough of my sermonizing. 

What I really wanted to talk about is the ONLY REAL FORM of discrimination that still exists in this fallen world of ours.  This is TRUE INJUSTICE that should make every GOD-FEARING man, woman, and child take up arms and DEMAND JUSTICE!  What I’m talking about, of course, is the latest report from the U.S. Grains Council that shows where all of our U.S. agricultural subsidies are going. 

As you can see, inferior crops like corn, wheat, soybeans, cotton, and rice are getting almost all of your tax dollars.  And what about sorghum—that purest and most wholesome of all grains, the grain that God himself gave mankind as sustenance for our earthly bodies?  Why the entire sorghum industry only received a pitiful $249 million dollars in federal subsidies in 2010.  Can you believe it?

Now, in general, like all good Christian conservatives, I’m opposed to just about every form of tax ever conceived.  I sure don’t want my hard-earned money confiscated by the government and used to pay for some inner-city, unmarried, welfare queen’s fancy penthouse apartment or pay for educational programs to turn our children into HOMOSEXUAL, ATHEIST  SOCIALISTS (as the current administration would like).  In fact, I’d like to see just about every federal program strangled at birth, like some malformed chicken with five legs who has no right living anyway.   

But if we’re going to use tax dollars for anything, I can think of nothing more proper than to use them to subsidize the great American sorghum industry, which has given the world so many wonderful products that make life worth living.  Can you imagine, for example, not having sorghum and tuna casserole at your local Church picnic?  It would be unthinkable!!!

Folks like Delmar DuPree, President of the Wheat Growers Council of America, would tell you that the reason why wheat crops got $1.7 billion in subsidies is because God’s heavenly wafer consumed at the Last Supper was made from partially refined, bleached wheat.  But I think that there is some real debate about this from scripture scholars these days.  In fact, I was reading in my handy Bob Jones Biblical Concordance that the grain out of which the blessed loaf consumed by OUR MASTER and his disciples was made could have been any number of different grains common in the Holy Land.  And guess what grain is often grown there?  That’s right: good, wholesome sorghum. 

So, based upon this irrefutable evidence from one of the leading Christian Universities in the world, here’s why you need to support greater subsidizes for sorghum:

1. The Body of our Lord was transmitted to his disciples in the form of a loaf made from sorghum. 
2. When we consume this heavenly wafer, we become one with the Almighty.
3. So eating sorghum and sorghum-based products is the fastest way to attain salvation and earn your heavenly reward.
4. Taxation is only legitimate if it helps lead folks to salvation. 
5. Therefore, it is perfectly just and proper to use tax dollars to subsidize sorghum, save all of mankind from the snares of the devil, and ensure that God’s kingdom on earth will be established.

Please feel free to send this argument to your local representative and urge him to continue to support subsidies for the sorghum industry.

Lance B. Dowd
President, Sorghum Association of America