Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Coming Soon to a Christain Community Near You!!!



Only 747 more days until the rapture (Pastor Rafter says that it is more like 456 days but he doesn't have a minor in Christian anthropology like I do, so he can be forgiven for his miscalculation). I can hardly wait, because I have been assured that I will be among the elect. East coast liberals, mimes, men who don the garb of females for pleasure or profit, and the entire population of San Franciso will unfortunately experience the wrath of Jehovah on those LAST DAYS. The BOOK OF BOOKS, after all, assures us that the LORD is "just in his righteous anger at the wicked." And who deserves his insatiable anger more than those involved in the great LIBERAL-ATHEIST-COMMUNIST-MIME CONSPIRACY?!??!

WISDOM SHARED WITH THE NEXT GENERATION

I took my nephew Mordecai recently on a stroll outside of Liberty City where we live to see the GOD'S GREATEST CREATION -- wholesome fields of nutritious KANSAS SORGHUM. I cry every time I see these ...waving fields of sorghum, and not just because I'm President of the U.S. Sorghum Association.

Sorghum reminds me of exactly why we have been put on this planet - to sow our good Christian seed in the fertile womb of devout DAUGHTERS OF THE WORD and this populate the world with GOD'S CHOSEN PEOPLE.

While we were walking along Country Road 97, I shared a few bits of wisdom that I had gained from my 37 years on this planet with my nephew Mordecai. You may profit from hearing these ETERNAL TRUTHS yourself:

1) Stay away from mimes. They are spawns of the devil who have been put on earth to tempt young men with their lascivious machinations.

2) Don't believe East Coast liberals when they tell you that the world is coming to and end because of Global Warming. The world is coming to an end, but it's because God wants to make the wicked (Democrats, environmentalist, socialists, atheists, and anyone living on either satanic coast) suffer his wrath.

3) Beware woman. She is a temptress who will lead you down the path of unrighteousness just as she did poor Adam. Only a PURE DAUGHTER OF THE WORD can provide you with the SWEET CONSOLATIONS of Christian love without causing your eternal soul to be damned!

4) Beware the liberal, atheist, environmentalist, homosexual, mime agenda. These SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF THE DEVIL are everywhere, and just waiting to corrupt your God-fearing Christian soul.

More to come later....
 
 

GOVERNMENT - FREEDOM + SOCIALISM = TYRANNY

When I said in 2012 that the only presidential candidate who could lead us from the path of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS that our nation is on was the very lovely, very brilliant, and very virtuous Michelle Ba...chmann, EAST COAST LIBERAL ELITISTS laughed at me. And now we see what the consequences are of allowing our proud nation to fall into the hand of ISLAMIC-LOVING, MARXISTS like Obama and his EFFETE, "INTELLECTUAL" crowd.

LIBERTY is destroyed.
GOD'S LAW is mocked in the wanton cities of the EAST and WEST COASTS.
HOMOSEXUALS and MIMES are entrenched in the highest position of government.
and GOD'S TRUE SERVANTS, like myself, are persecuted daily by the FEMINIST, ENVIRONMENTALISTS fanatics who run our country.

Today the government goes after the TEA PARTY. But I guarantee you that tomorrow they will attack our most sacred American institution -- the U.S. Sorghum industry, of which I am darn proud to be an important part of. As President of the U.S. Sorghum Association (headquarters: beautiful and wholesome Liberty City, Kansas) I know that there are those in positions of power who would destroy our sorghum, if they could. After all, sorghum represents everything these MALIGNANT, MALIGNERS, and MACHINATORS detest about our country.

Sorghum is WHOLESOME, PURE, TRUE, and GOOD FOR YOU. Just like the sublime word of our LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. And just like Christ's word is it TASTY TOO!

But fear not: This Proud SON OF WORD will never let the federal government try to destroy our precious sorghum. As the secretary for the Jesus-Land Real Estate Project, I have personally invested over $450 of my own resources to buy land in Denton County, Texas (voted 13th most Christian county in the U.S.!) where GOD'S CHOSEN can live together in perpetual, not genital, spiritual bliss and sorghum can grow free and wild, like God's manna in the desert.

WILL ANYONE JOIN ME IN ESTABLISING JESUSLAND before the forces of UNRIGHTEOUSNESS AND MIME-LOVING EVIL completely destroy our nation?

Lance B. Dowd
Liberty City
 
 

Bewareth of the Mime


Original art work for my anti-mime campaign, now in its 7th glorious year. 

More on Jesusland

I'm involved in an exciting new project with a group of TRUE BELIEVERS from the GREAT AMERICAN HEARTLAND and the GLORIOUS BIBLE BELT. It has become clear that under the rule of that SOCIALIST OBAMA we are turning into a nation that is fors...aking the things that really matter -- GOD, TRUTH, LIBERTY, GUNS, and the BIBLE.

The only solution is for GOD-FEARING SONS OF THE WORD to carve out our own nation from those areas of the country that haven't been completely corrupted by SOCIALISM, FEMINISM, ENVIRONMENTALISM, and EFFETE EAST COAST LIBERALISM. We're planning on calling this new nation of our JESUSLAND and our only law will be the LAW OF GOD as revealed through HIS WORD!!!

Liberals, homosexuals, "intellectuals," "scientists", mimes, and those who do not believe that's God's rapture is immanent, are not welcome. When the GREAT RAPTURE comes it will be much easier for God to find the unbelievers since they will all be forced to endure the APOCAPLYPSE from their hellish dens of vice and sin on the East and West Coasts!


A Really Good Question!

Why do so many people around the world hate REAL AMERICANS??!!?#? If only these deluded, godless souls understood what AMERICA really represents...

TRUTH
WHOLESOME GOODNESS
LOVE OF THE LORD
J - U - S - T - I - C - E
Hatred of the MIME

Eurosnobs love the Mime, but that is because they despise our American way of life, our big American cars, and our big boned American women. They hate sorghum an...d they love SOCIALISM.

No Europeans will ever be permitted to participate in the Jesusland Development Project as long as I am in charge!!!

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!?!!!?

The Two Roads!!!


Our wonderful LORD wants you to choose HIS WAY instead of the way of SATAN.

HIS WAY is the GREAT ETERNAL HIGHWAY That leads to HEAVAN. His way is the way of HALLELUJAH and AMEN, of complete and total groveling SUBMISSION to our LORD and H...IS LAW!!!

The WAY OF SATAN is the dark road of carnal love, wild parties with scantily clad satyrs gyrating to the demonic beat of secular music (with not so much as a HALLELUJAH or an AMEN in any of the lyrics!), and rivers full of mind-numbing alcohol, marijuana, and French pastries! And laughter--yes much laughter.....But, as Pastor Raftor, has said "those who laugh now will shed tears of grief when those last days come and the beasts of the nether regions pluck out their offending organs!!!"

Choose wisely...The Lord is watching your every move, and his WRATH IS HORRIBLE TO WITNESS! He loves you, but he will "casteth ye unto the flames for all eternity" if you choose unwisely.

ON THE PERPETUAL WHINING OF THE SO-CALLED OPPRESSED CLASSES WHO REALLY ARE THE PRIVILEGED ELITES OF THIS DEGENERATE GODLESS NATION OF OURS--AT LEAST COMPARED TO THOSE WHO ARE SUFFERING FROM REAL OPPRESSION (I.E., WHITE HETEROSEXUAL CHRISTIAN, MALES LIKE MYSELF)...

Liberals are constantly up in arms about discrimination—discrimination towards minorities, the poor, women, gays…you name it. But I personally think that it’s just a myth that these groups are discriminated against. Why, gays, for example, never had it better in this country than they do right now. They’ve taken over most of our government and are rapidly becoming the majority in places like New York, Vermont, and California. Soon we’ll all be forced to drink lattes and spend all of our time watching the Home Shopping Network.

And minorities sure can’t complain about anything, because one of their own has seized the White House. In fact, it’s predicted that by 2050 the original white population of this amazing country of ours will wither away to practically nothing. I’ve even heard statistics by those in the know about this issue that by 2087 there will only be about 23 people left in the country with pure Anglo-Saxon genes left uncontaminated by interracial fraternization, and all 23 will be living in Hopewell Junction, Montana (I’m saving up to buy some property there myself, just in case these predictions prove to be accurate). The rest of the country will be some big melting pot filled with people whose gene pools have been so diluted by sordid misogynistic fraternization that they won’t even know what race they belong to!

So I don’t really believe much in all these tales about discrimination that liberals keep dredging up. It’s just an excuse to make good, honest, hardworking, heterosexual males like me feel guilty for the extraordinary blessings that I’ve received from the Almighty as a reward for our utter and complete fidelity to HIS WORD and HIS COVENANT. Believe me, God knows darn well who deserves to reap the material blessings of this world and the spiritual blessings of HIS HEAVENLY KINGDOM and who doesn’t. So if you’re a godless, effeminate liberal living in some degenerate big city like New York or San Francisco and you’re having a hard time in life, my advice to you is to stop moaning and complaining about how the world’s discriminating against you, and get some TRUE FAITH quickly so that you can become one of God’s chosen like me. Then you’ll have all the blessings that you want in life and money will come pouring into your wallet like manna from heaven. And if you don’t believe this then read the Bible, which is HIS WORD, and your mind will become open to THE TRUTH.

THE TRUE SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT PROVES GLOBAL WARMING IS A DANGEROUS LIBERAL MYTH!!!!


Liberals keep whining that we are destroying our planet because of global warming, BUT if these devious deceivers and malignant misconstruers of GOD'S ...LAW would just read his WORD they would see how false their pseudo-scientific theories are.

Here's the hardcore SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE as related to me by Pastor Raftor, who is most certainly one of the great scientific minds of the 21st century:

1) At creation Adam and Eve were living in a TROPICAL PARADISE that comprised the entire world. In fact, you could get bananas off every third tree in the Garden of Eden, based upon evidence from the latest biblical research out of Bob Jones University. So the world was much hotter at creation than it is today. IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

2) Adam and Eve were naked before the fall. You try going around naked today in Wintertime! Can't be done. IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

3) Rush Limbaugh has said that there are more trees in the world today than there were 100 years ago. Trees REDUCE carbon emissions that cause global warming. Therefore we must have a much cooler planet today than we did when Theodore Roosevelt was president. IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

4) There are more homosexuals in the world today than there ever have been in the entire history of the human race. But everyone knows that homosexuality only arises in cold climates. There are no homosexuals south of the Mason Dixon line. And there were no homosexuals in the Garden of Eden. IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

5) God promised Noah that he wouldn't destroy the world again after the flood. So it is vain and foolish to think that we could do anything to hurt this incredible planet of HIS. Or are you call THE ALMIGHTY a liar? Then you are probably damned already and you have much bigger problems to worry about than so-called Global Warming! IPSO FACTO...Global Warming is a Myth.

Yes the world will come to an end as prophesized in 2 years, 3 months, 6 days, and 7 hours. But it won't be because of something ridiculous like Global Warming. At that time, God will send down the Satanic forces of DIVINE RETRIBUTION to obliterate our planet and those evil liberals, environmentalists, feminists, homosexuals, and mimes who will remain behind after the rapture.

Of course, SONS OF THE WORD like YOURS TRULY will be viewing end times from Paradise while we sip sorghum slurpees with Abraham and Moses!
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Sunday, July 7, 2013

Real Christian Art for a Real Christian Home


HERE IS SOME FINE ART THAT I HAVE ACQUIRED TO HANG ON MY MOTHER'S (MRS. IRMA R DOWD OF BEAUTIFUL LIBERTY CITY, KANSAS) BEDROOM WALL.

My mother, true DAUGHTER OF THE WORD, knows, as sure as sorghum grows a-plenty in the God-fear state of Kansas, that JESUS LOVES THE USA like a sweet unsullied virgin!!! And if he were here today (and he will be VERY SOON!!!), he would certainly resist the FEMO-ECO-ISLAMO-SOCIALIST agenda of the Obama administration, and join along with his TRUE BRETHREN in the NRA, the REPUBLICAN PARTY, and the JESUSLAND REAL ESTATE PROJECT in working to create a TRUE CHRISTIAN STATE where his word (and not the teaching of the KORAN) are the law of the land.

My mother knows all this, but it doesn't hut to be reminded of HIS TRUTH ever now and then. And so when she goes to sleep at night she can meditate on these beautiful works of art (purchased for $7.95 each at Walt Kaslow's Christian Goods store in Mossback, Kansas)
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Thursday, July 4, 2013

GOD BLESS THE TRUE (!?) AMERICA!


Our founding fathers--true SONS OF THE WORD that they were--would be shocked and horrified at the country that we've become.  How could they have imaged that mimes, transvestites, and Satanists would be running the country that they created????

There is hope for the future, but you're not going to find it in New York or California (the playgrounds of Satan and his minions).  You can only find REAL American in places like Kansas, where men love women with ample child-bearing hips and women can think of nothing they'd rather do than procreate with a good Christian man who knows how to please them by making sweet heterosexual Christian love to them wile at the same time singing the praises of our Lord.

So on this day of our independence, let us not forget the duty that all Christians have to populate the planet with a new generation of SONS and DAUGHTERS OF THE WORD.  But do it quickly, because Pastor Rafter now predicts that the rapture will start in two years, one month, three days, and seven hours!